4 Major Relationship Problems And How To Overcome Them

Posted On:2016-07-05    Category: Love & Relationships
4 Major Relationship Problems And How To Overcome Them

Communication

All relationship problems start from poor communication.You can't communicate while you're checking your phone, watching TV, or flipping through the Newspaper.

 

Solutions:

Make an actual appointment with each other. If you live together, put the cell phones on vibrate, put the kids to bed, and let voicemail pick up your calls.

If you can't "communicate" without raising your voices, go to a public spot like the library, park, or restaurant where you'd be embarrassed if anyone saw you screaming.

Set up some rules. Try not to interrupt until your partner is through speaking, or ban phrases such as "You always ..." or "You never ...."

Use body language to show you're listening. Don’t doodle, look at your watch, or pick at your nails. Nod so the other person knows you're getting the message, and rephrase if you need to.

Money

Very common especially in the 21st century. Money problems can start even before the wedding vows are exchanged. They can stem, for example, from the expenses of courtship or from the high cost of a wedding.Couples who have money woes should take a deep breath and have a serious conversation about finances.

solutions:

Be honest about your current financial situation. If things have gone south, continuing the same lifestyle is unrealistic.

Don't approach the subject in the heat of battle. Instead, set aside a time that is convenient and non-threatening for both of you.

Acknowledge that one partner may be a saver and one a spender, understand there are benefits to both, and agree to learn from each other's tendencies.

Don't hide income or debt. Bring financial documents, including a recent credit report, pay stubs, bank statements, insurance policies, debts, and investments to the table.

Don't blame.

Construct a joint budget that includes savings.

Decide which person will be responsible for paying the monthly bills.

Allow each person to have independence by setting aside money to be spent at his or her discretion.

Decide upon short-term and long-term goals. It's OK to have individual goals, but you should have family goals, too.

Talk about caring for your parents as they age and how to appropriately plan for their financial needs if needed.

Conflict:

Occasional conflict is a part of life and it is very normal in any kind of a relationship. But if you and your partner feel like you're starring in your own nightmare ie the same lousy situations keep repeating day after day -- it's time to break free of this toxic routine. When you make the effort, you can lessen the anger and take a calm look at underlying issues.

Solutions:

You and your partner can learn to argue in a more civil, helpful manner, Silverman says. Make these strategies part of who you are in this relationship.

Realize you are not a victim. It is your choice whether you react and how you react.

Be honest with yourself. When you're in the midst of an argument, are your comments geared toward resolving the conflict, or are you looking for payback? If your comments are blaming and hurtful, it's best to take a deep breath and change your strategy.

Change it up. If you continue to respond in the way that's brought you pain and unhappiness in the past, you can't expect a different result this time. Just one little shift can make a big difference. If you usually jump right in to defend yourself before your partner is finished speaking, hold off for a few moments. You'll be surprised at how such a small shift in tempo can change the whole tone of an argument.

Give a little; get a lot. Apologize when you're wrong. Sure it's tough, but just try it and watch something wonderful happen.

 

Sex

 Even partners who love each other can be a mismatch, sexually.Lack of sexual self-awareness and education worsens these problems. But having sex is one of the last things you should give up. Sex brings us closer together, releases hormones that help our bodies both physically and mentally, and keeps the chemistry of a healthy couple healthy.

Solutions:

plan for sex. Ask friends or family to take the kids every other Friday night for a sleepover. When sex is on the calendar, it increases your anticipation which creates excitement. Changing things up a bit can make sex more fun too. Why not have sex in the shower or even in the kitchen?

Learn what truly turns you and your partner on by each of you coming up with a personal Sexy List Swap the lists and use them to create more scenarios that turn you both on.

If your sexual relationship problems can't be resolved on your own, Fay recommends consulting a qualified sex therapist to help you both address and resolve your issues.

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